i know it's futile to keep dwelling on the past. but for the whole of today, i can't help but keep having the same thought. what if i did accept the overseas scholarship...

hm. i don't why this comes to me suddenly. i guess i have made many wrong choices in life. perhaps it was one of them. however, i also believe in letting nature takes its course. perhaps this is all it meant to be?

i'm not sure if i believe in destiny, but perhaps some things are just meant to be, again, 这不是消极的想法！

and perhaps it's because of this sense of loneliness that sent me the thought. or perhaps it's because of the initial reason which made me turn down the offer does not exist anymore.

i wanna clear this thought. perhaps, i would also regret if i were to really study in china. haha. alright~ i should try shaking the thought off by playing neopets.